I'm sure that this could also go on my art blog but then again, I've got no drawings to show... yet. OH SNAP!!!

As of this moment, there are 15 days left in the calendar year but my new year has actually already begun and no, it's not because I go by the lunar calendar, fool. I guess I'm gauging my life by when I moved out on my own. In many ways, this past year forced me to be a big boy real quick. Oddly enough, it all coincided with when I moved into my new place.

Without getting into the meticulous details, I'll just say that it's been a fantastical year. Granted, there were a few bumps in the road but the road to awesome is treacherous. That's why not everyone gets there. Everyone can but not everyone will. If it were easy to get to, you wouldn't need to constantly improve things like perseverence and character. It's a shame but it's also a fact. Write that down... or copy and paste that.

Needless to say, the end of my year came to a surprising end where I found myself questioning everything about myself. I began going back to what I was before I first started and I started getting frustrated and angry which is generally my first reaction. My November was filled with these sort of emotions and the more I thought about it, the more I became enveloped in it.

One morning last week, my moment of clarity came in the shower which seems to be where I am most genius. (Please keep all comments to yourselves, freaks.)

I've come to the personal conclusion that my life is a poker game. For the past year, I was running off gut instinct and rolling with it. As a result, I'd been able to win both good and bad hands. I never really thought about anything, I just played. As with any player, the more I learned about strategy and logic, the more I became confused. I started folding hands I shouldn't. I was losing hands I should've folded. As my stack got smaller and smaller, I started to freak out.

When I'm actually playing cards, I'll take a break when I catch myself feeling this way. I walk away for a moment. I calm down. I clear my head and I sit down to play.

Way I see it, my opponent got to me and I had to calm down before I could open up a can of whup-ass. So I've gone back to playing with what I know and what I believe. Stronger than before. Always stronger.

I feel refreshed and great about what lays ahead.

So to you, 2009, I raise my glass.

Cheers.

By the way, when I get married, don't be surprised if you see this parked in front of the church.

Please allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is Hov... I mean, Dave.

Right. Well, it's been well over 3 months since my last post and I agree that I've neglected this long enough. Even though it's been a rather uneventful few months, there's still a few things to note.

1. I'm still a jackass. - I don't mind being a jackass but I've tried to become more considerate... for a jackass. Without going into detail, it had come to my attention that I do need to be more considerate and understanding, regardless of whether I'm right or wrong. I will say that it's far better to have friends than holding onto that foolish pride of being right.

2. I'm now a 30 year old jackass. - Yes, yes, I've crossed yet another decade threshold from late 20s to early 30s. Yet, I still buy toys and comic books. I watch cartoons and play video games. I like to draw Batman and X-Men. I confess that getting older is a bit overwhelming but I've come to terms with it, mainly because of my brother's credo: "I think like I'm 12. I act like I'm 8 and I eat like I'm 4." I'm not worried about getting older as much as I am concerned with how fast time is moving.

3. Don't look down, jackass. - The last few months have been mentally tiring and more fear had crept into my heart. Since last November, I've been running forward on pure instinct and faith that tomorrow will be awesome. The thing is, these last few months have brought me to almost a halt. Reason being, I now know more which has crippled me with doubt. I began questioning my desires and my means. Despite that I'd been holding it down for almost a year, I began to think that maybe I couldn't hack it. Looking down made me scared in that if I fell, it'd be horrific. I've been able to regain sight of my line and don't mind looking back once in a while to spot check myself. Apparently all I needed was to be reminded that I can do it since I've "been doing it for a while now, dummy."

4. I dominate, jackass. - My manager and co-workers showed me this clip that reminded them of me. While funny, I don't see it. Here's one of my favorite lines: "Finally found a tough card game against a solid player then I realized that I was playing solitaire."